The “voice in my head”

As long as I can remember, there has been a “voice” telling me that I am not good enough. I remember it as early as the 4th grade.

My dad did not tell me that he liked my sister more because she was the “pretty” one and I was the “smart” one, that was the voice in my head.  My hubby did not tell me that he wouldn’t love me if I didn’t do everything he wanted me to, that was the voice in my head. No one except the voice in my head ever told me that I wasn’t good enough. But I always believed that voice.

It wasn’t until after I started going to 12 step meetings that I finally found out that that “voice” is lying to me. It hates me and will do or say anything to try to make me miserable.

About 8 months ago, I wanted to start going back to the church that I was raised in, but the “voice” told me that everyone there would smell the cigarette smoke on me and judge me. After 2 or 3 months more of prayer I was able to listen to God, who was telling me to go back to church.

I still have to work diligently to remember that the voice hates me, lies to me and will say anything to make me miserable, but Today I am blessed to have the tools to know that!

If this was the only thing that I had learned in the last 7 years, it would be enough, but it is only one of many things that I have learned, but I will post about those at different times.

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